-I will compulsively plan everything. Routes, daily mileages weeks in advance, right down to rest lengths and the order in which I will eat snacks. (It goes banana, Skyr, donuts/misc.) If things don't go according to plan I become irritable.
-I will also often attempt to plan "rest days" with military efficiency. (ie, AM: Breakfast, 5 cups tea, laundry. PM: Lunch, groceries, find internet, clean bicycles.)
-I often can't conceive how others don't love climbing giant hills as much as I do. If I have to wait at the top of a hill for you I can become irritable.
-Rain and cloudy skies make me irritable.
-I will generally mock you if I feel you are doing something inefficiently.
-I'm fairly sure that I'm already doing everything with maximum efficiency.
-If you like black licorice i will tell you that you're objectively wrong. Same with most movies.
-If you want to draft, you gotta keep up!
-When confronted with difficult conditions I will either become irritable OR obnoxiously cheery.
-I will always race you to either set up or pack up camp. I will always win. After I win, I will sit there regarding you with an expression of mixed contempt and boredom.
-And finally, I will force you to photograph me while I pose ridiculously:
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| Tricked! |
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| The DIMMU BURGER |
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| I don't even know |
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| I will also lord it over you how awesome my chair is |
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| ...but not quite tall enough, in this case. |
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| Neither will I allow you to pose normally. "Do something goofy!" "Like this?" "NO! GOOFIER!" |
Anyway! There is a point to all this: A huge congrats to Adam, you not only held on through a fairly difficult bike trek, but also managed to put up with a cantankerous snob for like an entire month and never let it (visibly) phase you! Well done, and here's to many more miles in the saddle!
PS A) I will also retroactively gloss over the difficult parts in memory, hence "fairly difficult"
PS B) This post is also dedicated to Matt Peterkin, who had to put up with me for 3 months in a shared tent
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